Back again

So here I am again, almost a year later. I'm not sure why I didn't continue writing after the first post. Life gets in the way I guess. We are about to attempt our 7th donor IUI. This time with more drugs. We've decided this will be the last IUI before moving on to IVF. The injections aren't bad. Not fun either. I'm proud of myself for giving myself a needle! I am trying to remain optimistic. If this IUI doesn't work we will be taking an extended break before attempting IVF. With M trying to finish his PhD it is just not financially viable to continue. It really feels like shutting a door and that is scary

This will be a hectic week. M is going for major knee surgery right around the time that I start the daily b/w and u/s. I'm trying my best just to breath through it all but I admit I am stressed. We are both scared of the surgery. It is a 3-4 month recovery and I worry about being able to help him through it. Tomorrow we have a meeting with the accountant and I feel disorganized. I should have time to gather everything after my early morning b/w. I hate dealing with money.

It has been a good summer. We've done a lot of fun things and for the most part it has been very care free. I feel so lucky to have a job that allows me 8 weeks off. I needed it. September is going to hit me hard I think. Even though I am looking forward to seeing all the kids, I worry about my lack of energy and also worried that if this cycle doesn't work, I will be in a bad headspace to jump into full time work again. In the end I'll just get through I guess. I have 'til now and I'm still here and manage to laugh on a regular basis. Here we go...